Now I See...

This whole blog of mine has meandered around, like a person walking this way and that in shallow water, and has become murky. What began as an attempt to figure out what the smack is happening to my country, my religion, my political party, and the glorious state of Texas :-) has now morphed into something much more valuable, and that is something more of a spiritual nature. At least this journey has been valuable to me. I'm probably the only person READING my blog, but at least I can keep myself entertained!

Well, now to attempt to clear the water of some of its murkiness.

This will deeply offend some of you oversensitive types, but it must be done! If you're so fragile, cover your ears and flee to the farthest reaches of the blogosphere and under no circumstances risk voiding your spiritual warrantee by attempting to peer under the hood of your existence! OK, everyone else, ready now? Here goes--

I have found Eckhart Tolle, found my purpose in life, and come to a closer understanding of God! Heresy you cry? Didn't I tell you to cover your ears, oh fragile ones? Maybe you'll be scarred for life because of what I said. Whatever...

Last year I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I only read about a page a day, and sometimes only a paragraph a day. It took me forever to get through it at that pace, but I had to digest what I was reading, and meditate on it. That book planted a seed in me, of understanding what is going on and getting the big picture of all of creation. But it really didn't take hold of me very strongly until I went through some more pain and anguish this last Christmas. I won't go into great detail, but it was the worst Christmas I have ever had in my life. My wife was worried about me, genuinely worried for my sanity and my safety. She sicced a Jewish wise-woman on me, a real sage of a woman, and just sitting there quietly under her wise old gaze I was humbled, and I calmed down a bit. After that small, insignificant little meeting, I was able to refocus on my life.

One of the conclusions I had come to was that the whole world has gone freakishly insane. There is no sense to it whatsoever. And when I said the whole world has gone insane, I had to include myself, because I'm part of this world. But I didn't feel insane. Did that mean I was even more insane than I thought? So I thought maybe the best plan was to embrace the insanity inside myself, not to resist. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Better to embrace a little bit of insanity in me in order to keep the greater part of me sane, was what I thought. Kind of like Spock saying, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

So I decided to listen to silly songs (Richard Cheese, for example), and the comedy channel on XM radio. I got very silly with people around me, my kids especially. But inwardly, I was weary to death. I prayed to God to just clue me in, let me understand.

I had given my wife an Eckhart Tolle book for Christmas, and I remembered how I liked his book, The Power of Now. I daren't touch my wife's Eckhart Tolle book or she'd think that I only bought it for me instead of her. So I bought another one for myself, A New Earth.

I began to read A New Earth, and it reminded me of the things I'd read and tried to understand in The Power of Now. But as I read A New Earth, I was suddenly able to understand it all.

This post is already on the long side, and there is no way I can cover Eckhart Tolle in just a couple of sentences, so let me assure you that I will write more later, in other posts. Suffice it to say-- I can accept this current moment in time, and I can accept how insane the world is, and I can accept that I have that insanity inside me for right now. For right now, my only assignment is to be like one of the lilies in the field, and just to live. I can do that. If I have a true faith in God and in his purpose, that his will will be done, regardless, then I have to accept the current moment in time. I have to live in the NOW. It's not a case of "it'll all work out in the end." All of everything that exists, right now fits together into one big puzzle. Some of those pieces have jagged edges, some soft, some red, some blue, and some green. But they all are part of the whole. I must accept all the pieces in order to have the full puzzle.

I highly encourage anyone out there to read Tolle for themselves. Regardless of what faith you come from, or even if you are athiest, his almost algebraic approach to psychology and the levels of our existence will enrich your life.

That's it for NOW. :-)

http://www.eckharttolle.com/home.php

http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth.info/index.php

http://now-for-you.com/forum/index.php