Examine your identity...

Today I feel like presenting a couple of exercises for you to try. Find a quiet place, and with a pad of paper and pen/'cil write down who you think you are. You can make it an essay, but probably a list of brief descriptive words would be better. Write down the things you like about yourself, and write down some problem areas that you have, or things you don't like about yourself. What do you think others see when they see you? What are some qualities that they like in you, or dislike? If you're as self-absorbed as I can be, this may take all afternoon! :-)
Now to the important part. Try to imagine growing up in a different family, going to different schools and churches, dealing with a whole different set of problems than you had growing up or that you have now. This is not to take away the value of your individual decision making process, your set of standards for living, but, what if...? What if you had been born in that other family, lived a different life up to now? Do you think your viewpoint would be different? Would you make the same decisions in your life? From the viewpoint of this different imaginary life, what are things you would like about yourself, and what are things you would still have problems with?
What I'm trying to get at is this. What are you made of? What is the core substance of your being? Who are you, really? And I don't mean the pat answer that you give when you're at a social gathering and someone asks you what you do for a living. Any person in their right mind should hate that question!
It's hard to be 100% honest with yourself about your motives, I know, because you're too close to be able to see them clearly. All of us have that innate problem in that, when we try to look at our decision making ability and the choices that we've made, we use the same faulty thought processes to analyze and look for problems. Hence, we only do a partial job of self-diagnosis and correction. Others may try to derive 100% of their feeling of self from what others tell them, and I think that way is incorrect as well. The best you can do is to balance your own 'self-diagnostic' with feedback from others around you, at home and at work, and try to make yourself accountable to someone, a close confidant.
What is left of you, if everything were to be stripped away? None of us wants everything to be stripped away, of course, but if this scares you to no end, maybe deep down you don't think you have much substance to your core being, not much to offer anyone without all of your acquired trinkets and gadgets. Do you need the sportscar to attract women? Do you need the alcohol so you can dance and have fun? Do you need stimulants to be able to compete in your industry? Do you need love and affection, or the financial freedom of money, in order to be happy or content?
EXERCISE:
Let me set up a very (admittedly) crazy scenario. By presenting this I don't in any form or fashion intend to convey that I think this is true (it is not), and I don't intend any sacriledge against our creator, nor do I intend to offend anyone's sense of religious beliefs. I am merely presenting the following as a mental exercise, to open your mind and get you to feel a kinship with others. What if-- There is only one life. By that I mean there is only one being, you. Your spirit has inhabited every single living creature on this planet throughout history, and your spirit is right now also in every other being currently living. This idea is similar to reincarnation, but takes it much further, wrapping around to include everyone and everything, making time meaningless. This means of course, that you are setting yourself up as God, which I believe is a very dangerous thing to try to do seriously. But I do believe that it is perfectly OK to try to sympathize, to try to feel with others and God (and I don't believe God resents an inquisitive mind). Now, as you look at people during the day, remind yourself of this exercise. Think to yourself, "That could be me." What if it was? What if we really were closer linked than any of us know?