Why I am Me

In my previous post, Former Dittohead Voted Today! I tried to show a little of the process I went through in my change from conservative Republican dittohead to proud liberal. And I must add right here that it feels great to loosen up. It feels great to care about others. Having life more abundantly (something Jesus wanted for us) comes from giving and living, interacting with others, and does not come from selfishly trying to grab more stuff. We always say it but rarely mean it, that it is better by far to be rich with friends than money. I am here to tell you that it really is true. It gets down to happiness. If you are the richest of all, but have to eat dinner alone, well, that's pretty sad.

So, if you're interested, here is some more of the process that deposited me right here in this seat.

I wasn't really a very good little kid. I got caught with a Playboy in kindergarten. So, I was sent to a different school for 1st grade, where I got into fights daily. At yet another school in 2nd grade I stabbed a kid with a dinner fork. So is it any surprise to anyone that I was sent to a private school for 3rd grade? And to complicate things, it was a Baptist school, and we went to a Church of Christ.

Even though these two protestant branches both call themselves 'Christian' they don't really mix very well, because of some narrow viewpoints in each. And my grandparents were staunch Church of Christ non instrumental, which is even narrower.

We went to church activities for two services Sunday morning and also the Sunday evening service, the Wednesday night and sometimes the Saturday night service as well. We also were involved in Vacation Bible School and youth group activities like skating and summer camp. I don't know how many hours that would be, that I was indoctrinated from that side.

That indoctrination did conflict with the 35-40 hours I spent in Baptist school during the week. I constantly got sad looks and mournful shakings of the head when I'd relate what I'd learned in school that day to my parents. And if I spoke at school about what the Church of Christ doctrine was all about, I'd get either those sad looks and shaking heads or I'd be told by a fellow student or two (or eight) that I was going to hell. I was told at my church and at home that we had to take communion every Sunday morning, and that if we didn't that we just couldn't be very good Christians. The Baptists didn't have communion every Sunday. My church believed that if you died without being immersion baptized that there was no way you could go to heaven. The Baptists believed that you must be immersion baptized, but it wasn't as critical as in the Church of Christ's view. And I remember from both sides varying critical views on everything from what soap you used (if you were supporting Satan, or alternatively communism) to what music you could listen to, to how you ended prayers (whether, in praying to God, you could say, "in your son's name" or if you actually had to say the name 'Jesus' for it to work). Another thing was getting the tracts and photocopied outlines of directions on how to witness to people of other faiths, like Catholics and Jews, both of whom were, sadly, going straight to hell.

You'd think that would mess with a kids' head? Well, I guess it wasn't enough, because I found myself going to Bible college.

Bible college was great, but now I saw that there were many more positions and points of view, on literally everything. And everyone was calling themselves Christians! Even the different professors had different views on things, not that they would openly criticize each other.

I won't go into how I learned this (after college), but I finally learned that we should be looking for the similarities and not the differences between us and others. And when you try to appreciate others you can finally get to the place where you stop beating on yourself, thank God.

I guess for most of my life I took others criticism of me and what I said or did, to heart.
Whether it was private Bible school, or church, or Bible college, I was never left wanting for people to criticize my faith and how I worshipped. And I have come to the conclusion that this spirit of criticism, this negativity, is not Christian! It never was!

It took me a long time learning lessons in that other school, the School of Hard Knocks, before I discovered that it is harmful to be constantly thinking that God is over your shoulder ready and strangely happy to hit you with a big stick. Do you fondly think of your father as always wanting to punish you? Of course not. I hope not!

Jewish religious leaders criticized Jesus for eating and drinking with sinners and common men, but do you think Jesus was in there lecturing the outcasts of his society? Maybe even pounding on the table and pacing back and forth, for effect? We don't know, but I don't think so!

What most conservatives, the right wing, republicans, and neo-cons (and maybe many Christians too) lack is empathy, compassion. When your heart is hard, it does not bleed. God calls us to soften our heart. Good Christians should not have a hard heart to the poor people of the world, like immigrants or Iraqis. So if anyone wants to call me a 'bleeding-heart liberal' go right ahead! I think Jesus Christ was a 'bleeding-heart liberal' as well, so I'm in good company!

Where someone else is, you could be, if history had gone differently. The great thing is to appreciate every bump and skinned knee that got you to where you're at, because those experiences, no matter how hard, have given you substance, stability, and power. Do not hate or fear people who are different, because no matter what they do they cannot ever take away your stability, your substance.

You are like a person on top of a cliff, who looks down and sees someone clinging to the cliff wall. Don't be afraid, but reach down and lift them up and you will both be on top.